We already know that the stages of grief aren’t wholly accurate. No two people grieve in exactly the same way. Yet, despite its deeply personal nature, there are some common threads in the ways we experience loss. Whether you’re navigating your own journey through grief or trying to understand the experiences of someone close to you, recognizing the different types of grief can provide comfort and clarity. 

Understanding Grief

At its core, grief is the emotional pain we feel when we lose someone or something important to us. It’s natural, though often intensely challenging, and it reflects the depth of the connection we’ve lost. This pain can manifest in various forms and intensities, and sometimes in ways we might not expect. It’s important to remember that all forms of grief are valid—there’s no “right” way to feel.

Types of Grief

Navigating through grief is not a straightforward path—it meanders, retraces steps, and sometimes feels like it’s standing still. Here are some of the types of grief that many of us encounter:

1. Anticipatory Grief: This type of grief begins before a loss, especially common when a loved one is suffering from a long-term illness. It might feel like you’re grieving what’s to come, or even grieving the gradual losses that come before a final goodbye.
2. Complicated Grief (Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder): Sometimes, grief doesn’t follow timelines or patterns we might expect. Complicated grief is intense and lingering, making it tough to engage in daily life and move forward.
3. Disenfranchised Grief: It’s the grief that society doesn’t always see as “valid.” This could be the loss of a pet, a non-traditional relationship, or even a job. Just because your loss isn’t acknowledged by everyone doesn’t make your grief any less real.
4. Cumulative Grief: Losing several people or experiencing multiple losses in a short period can lead to cumulative grief, where the sorrow and coping demands pile up faster than they can be processed.
5. Masked Grief: Sometimes, we don’t recognize grief because it doesn’t look like the intense sorrow we expect. Instead, it might show up as irritability, sleep problems, or even physical symptoms.
6. Delayed Grief: This is when the full impact of a loss doesn’t hit until much later—sometimes months or even years after. It’s like your mind has put a pin in your grief to handle later, perhaps when it feels safer to do so. 

Your Grief Doesn’t Have to Fit a Label

Understanding the different types of grief isn’t just about labeling our experiences—it’s about finding pathways that might help us heal. It’s okay if your grief doesn’t neatly fit into any of these categories, or if it evolves over time. Still, it can be comforting to some to have a label–it can show you that you’re not alone in this experience. What’s most important is giving yourself the space and grace to experience your emotions, whatever they may be.

Moving Forward with Compassion

As we journey through our grief, let’s remember to offer ourselves the same kindness and patience we would offer a friend. It can be helpful to journal about your experience, or to reflect with something like a Tarot spread. If you or someone you know is struggling, it might help to talk about it, whether with loved ones, a support group, or a professional. Sometimes, just knowing that there are many ways to grieve and that your feelings are valid can help you feel a bit better.Navigating grief is not about rushing to “get over” the pain but about learning how to carry it with us as we move forward, honoring who and what we’ve lost and gradually finding ways to embrace life’s new contours. Whether today’s a tough day, a tender one, or looking up, remember, there’s no wrong way to feel.